It behoves us here at APOTHEOSIS to present our beloved readers with information that inspires them in this ugly period.In this featured post, the writer writes from a rare perspective, an angle that tries to address the psychological effects of this pandemic. It is a short piece, and it will definitely inspire you. You should also try to share with friends and family.We love you and we strongly believe that we are all going to come out of this stronger and more inspired to live love and learn.Team Apotheosis.
I am delighted to inform our readers that we would be studying more of Dale Carnegie’s works, and we will – extract a lot of lessons, make comments and include some portions of his works in our studies.
I am greatly inspired by Carnegie; his method of writing (simple and easy to understand), his genuineness and sincerity and above all, his sharp wit and infectious humour.
In this first lesson, we will talk about ‘Arguments’. It’s a very short piece, but it sure has a lot of lessons in it.
Carnegie said this: “…Since then, I have listened to, engaged in, and watched the effect of thousands of arguments. As a result of all this, I have come to the conclusion that there is only one way under high heaven to get the best of an argument – and that is to avoid it. Avoid it as you would avoid rattlesnakes and earthquakes”.
Avoid it as you would avoid any chance of getting infected with the coronavirus.
“If you argue and rankle and contradict, you may achieve a victory sometimes; but it will be an empty victory because you will never get your opponents good will.”
Before you embark on that arguing trip, why not pause, sit back, think more and consider taking the less tread path of appreciating the other person’s point of view (even if their perspective is obviously wrong or foolish). Let your opponent see that you genuinely care about their own side of the story, in so doing, you make them respect you and want to hear what you have to say, so, you simply save your self some arguing time.
“Hatred is never ended by hatred but by love.” – Buddha.
Who Is Right? Who Is Wrong?
We all want to feel important, so when we project our ideas, we want those ideas to also command some sort of respect, recognition or attention from others. This is normal for every human being. An argument can be defined simply as: “Who is right? Who is wrong?”
Definitely, you want your own perspective to be the winning concept, (if you know you are right; and besides, who is right all the time?) but you must decide to be the better person if you do not want the ugly effects of an “unhealthy argument” disturb your peace. So, who is right? Well, your opponent is right, it is better you give them the trophy, let them know you understand them, it is easier to talk to them if you approach using this method, instead of “verbal wrestling” away.
An Argument Does Not Solve A Disagreement, Or Does It?
Here are some wise suggestions on how to keep a disagreement from becoming an argument.
Welcome the disagreement.
Distrust your first instinctive impression.
Control your temper.
Look for areas of agreement.
Promise to think over your opponent’s ideas and study them carefully.
Thank your opponent sincerely for their interest.
Postpone action to give both sides time to think through the problem.
Source: Bits & Pieces.
The opponent in an argument is not a foe, oh no, never have this notion, it will poison your decisions & severely cloud your judgements, they are also interested in what you are interested in, this makes it easier to make a friend out of an argument. Agree? Sure you do agree with me.
Let me leave you with this little confession.
“My wife and I made a pact a long time ago, and we’ve kept it no matter how angry we’ve grown with each other. When one yells, the other should listen – because when two people tell, there is no communication, just noise and bad vibrations. – Opera Tenor Jan Peerce.
An argument in the court of law is definitely a different ball game, let those guys with gowns, bibs and wigs sweat it all out. But what I call a “natural argument”, can be avoided or it can be manipulated to serve you better, only if you try to understand your opponent’s point of view and apply some of the principles in this piece.
“A Thousand Lessons From Dale Carnegie” is a column on Apotheosis that is dedicated to the teachings of Dale Carnegie.
Meet Charles Schwab – The Art Of Appreciation Part 1 | A.A Mudi.
Charles Schwab, one of the first person to be paid over a million dollars a year in American business, he was picked by Andrew Carnegie to be the president of the newly formed United States Steel Company in 1921, Schwab was only thirty-eight years old.
He was chosen not because of his skills or knowledge of the Steel Company, he was chosen because of a single attribute he had that not many others had and this gift was his ability to deal with people.
Charles had the ability to arouse enthusiasm in people and he did this by sincerely appreciating them and encouraging them.
Are you a leader? Do you have people who look up to you for guidance and leadership? If the answer to these questions is yes, then you will do your self good and the people you lead a lot good by learning how to appreciate and encourage them no matter what they look like!
Start learning now to appreciate those you lead today.
Why I Think You Must Read and Write. 2 twinklings read.
Ayinla Daniel. RN.
“And I believe that the best learning process of any kind of craft is just to look at the work of others.”
Wole Soyinka. African Nobel Laurette.
Reading and writing, twin cultures that people must develop if they so much desire to court the culture of excellence. without these two elements ingrained in the individual’s mentality, it will be painfully difficult for one to express himself or her self and at the same time pretty impossible for one to enjoy the expressions and experiences of others, through reading.
Knowledge has to be generated and most importantly communicated. On a daily basis, people churn out numerous mountains of information in varied forms – an endless sea of information out there. And one major classical method they use to communicate is the tool of writing (it never grows old or fades, an eternal). If you do not care about reading, how do you think you are going to take part in this great knowledge movement? Through magic or some act of God? It will be ridiculous to think that knowledge will enter your heart without you making significant efforts to chase after it.
To stay relevant in whatever you do, one must feed his/her mind on a regular basis with information, knowledge gathered only through active and avid reading. One of the biggest reasons why many folks do not make appreciable progress in vital aspects of their existence is simply anchored on the single habit of lack of reading, unbelievable apathy.
People do not care about developing the reading culture. Many have become insular, they are possessed by the rote systems of learning that teach them how to read for a degree or a diploma and when they get these certificates, its holy goodbye to any form of reading.
If you interview graduates today of any field and ask them when was the last time they read a book, you will be appalled at the replies you would get. Many have never read a book in years! Amazing! And they are not bothered, one bit!
What about the writing culture? Well, if a fellow does not know the road to the river, how is such a person going to know where the water is? If you do not read, what do you want to write? Your name? Writing is one ointment that people have refused to make use of to soothe their many turmoils within. A trusted escape route.
“Writing became a therapy. I was reconstructing my own existence. It was also an act of defiance.”
Wole Soyinka. African Nobel Laureate in Literature.
Writing provides for you a form of escape, an avenue to release the real you that is caged within. In the pure and exciting culture of writing, we are all able to enter experiences, we live many lives as we read and allow many others live our lives as they read what we have written, isn’t this glorious my friends?
Oh yes, I am challenging you, making you feel very inadequate because you have refused to write and read. As Africans that we are [this letter is directed mainly to my African brothers and sisters], reading and writing are not alien to us, “the West” only refined it and created a more universal method of communication, through their “colonial efforts,” making these “twin-cultures” easier for us to appreciate. But a painful fact still stands, that only very few Africans appreciate the writing and reading cultures, which are the cornerstones of western civilization and inarguably the only two cultures that have the potential to greatly influence growth and development.
“Our ambition should be to rule ourselves, the true kingdom for each one of us; and true progress is to know more, and be more, and to do more.”
Oscar Wilde. Irish poet and playwright.
How can you discover your self when you intentionally refuse to learn from the journeys of how others discovered themselves?
When was the last time you sat down, picked up a book and read it? I am forcing this lecture on you, my friends, because I love you and I am deeply interested in your personal development.
“My reading and writing activities will come up in another post, hope you follow me as we learn together.”
Every article, essay or work on Apotheosis can be shared and used provided appropriate references are made.
Send me a mail, I want to know what you are learning.
You know, most professionals are insular! Don’t mind the word, it simply means too streamlined, they are not bothered about what happens outside of the walls of their professional engagements? These kind of fellows are limited, though having enough knowledge in a particular area, they lack knowledge in many other areas – say politics! Who is the president of your country? Lol! I know you know that one.
Don’t get too consumed mastering your niche to the detriment of being grossly ignorant about other important happenings around you. I am not saying you become a polymath or transform your self to a modern-day Leonardo Da’vinci, certainly not, men like Da’vinci were made for a very different age, an age more complex & engaging than ours, all I am trying to say is that you should try to taste knowledge from other streams and I tell you, my friends, you would be amazed as to how much you have been missing minding your business.
Jack of all trades?
Oh no, far from Jacks’ trades, this is more about discovery than mastery. It’s about enjoying & travelling through the realms & planes of knowledge. Let me use my self as a practical example. I enjoy reading a whole lot of stuff outside my career. I read history a whole lot, I love poetry, I find time to read about life on earth – wildlife, micro life, Mars life (hoping to purchase land on Mars when we finally find life there!) just name it, I have my collection of books; fiction, non-fiction, motivational & inspirational, and every day I search to look for something new to learn while maintaining a healthy balance though and I keep in constant touch with my boyhood (😀, the games, cartoons and all that boy stuff)
I have heard of Physicians who wrote history books, (ever heard of Robin Cooks’ books? That guys a Doctor) hardcore professionals who diverted a bit because they were able to explore areas unexplored.
The lie we formally tell our selves is that we do not have enough time, well I am happy to inform you that this lie has kept you from really discovering.
My Humble Reasons
Now, briefly, let me tell you some of my reasons, why I think it’s necessary you read outside your professional boundaries:
• Your knowledge base gets richer.
• You don’t look too ignorant when matters outside your field are been deliberated upon, you can make intelligent contributions.
• You are more creative, able to draw from a vast variety of your knowledge base and apply to specific situations.
• You are engaging. People find it fun having dialogues with you.
• When you read beyond, it’s easier to find out more opportunities that may even be bigger than your current ones.
• You are learning & growing outside your cage!
• You build more confidence.
• Your problem-solving skills and critical thinking automatically improves.
• You attract respect from people who listen to you – your associates.
• You are more alive and it will take a lot to dampen your spirit or make you bored, you are mentally active!
• You are able to give out advice, you become a source of inspiration to people around you.
• You are more attractive (😉)
• You appreciate God more as you learn about His works.
• life seems to open up, you no longer feel confined to “a space”.
• It’s easier to venture into other endeavours when you read about things outside your professional jurisdiction.
• You tend to understand things easier, learning new concepts becomes a work over for you.
• Novel ideas can easily pop-up from your wide mind, ingenuity sits by your side.
• If you want to become a writer or horn your writing skills, then you must be vast in knowledge, you can’t do without this.
• You appreciate the works of other folks outside your professional environment.
• The last but not the least, you make a better leader. Good leaders have always been voracious readers.
What are your reasons? Why do you read outside your professional boundaries? Share your own views, many are waiting to learn from you!